And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I heard we made out
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
