SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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