Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
