Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize