I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
smell my finger.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
