Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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