matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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