I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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