hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
