He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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