you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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