She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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