you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
