pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
