I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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