i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
