so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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