K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
