i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize