I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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