i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
