This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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