Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
