My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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