he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
