I didn't shave. On purpose
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize