it hurts more in the daytime
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
