Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
