so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
