PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
