After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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