Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
