I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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