just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
