we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
