brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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