before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
