If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
