get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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