New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
