ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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