Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
