I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
whose parrot is this?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
