I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
