I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
