I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
