Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
