yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
