First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
