Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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