You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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