ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
