Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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