was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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