I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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