You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
