Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
love makes seman taste better
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize