i was rollin on her like bob the builder
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
