Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
