Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
That accounts for only three of the penises
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
