lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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