I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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