she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
