Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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