last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I got inside last night via doggy door
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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