i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize