I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
