God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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